Dude, first off I suck at this blog thing my bad. Anyway, Rachel and I had a freaking hilarious discussion about blind dates the other day and i thought it a good idea to blog about my feelings on the topic.
First off props to all of the crazy match makers out there that make it their personal goal to set everyone up on a date with (the perfect) person. At the same time curse you, you over happy whore that meddles themselves in my business. So OK I feel adventurous and I accept this invitation to be forced into an intimate setting with a perfect stranger who is cute (homely), nice (sweet spirited) and fun (WTF, fun sucking psycho). So the adventure begins with what will always be an awkward introduction. "Hi, it looks like we are both in the same boat and are too pathetic to attract the opposite sex, forcing us into this zoo like, captured style of dating." The first thing noticed, not to be shallow but honestly this is who you pair me up with, this is really what you think of me. . . . . a 3. Wow now all i can think about is the happy whore that thinks i go well with this person. On with the date, dinner. Stuck, literally because of the sasquatch next to me at the restaurant has my chair pinned against the wall, not the girl, the dude with the elastic pants anticipating on devouring a small countries annual food export. So onto the get to know you questions HOLD UP. . . . what part about my insanely fashionable attire shouts I want to talk about the Relief Society broadcast of the night before or anything to do with quilting. Don't get me wrong, both are great things, but I lost all hope at the door introduction. Right about now I'm cursing myself for having told her we are going to a movie after dinner EF! The bill comes, reminding me of how much money I don't have and how many Cup-o-Noodles I just lost out on paying for this self inflicted torture. In a ditch effort to save my sanity (the two full priced tickets I purchased for the movie) I tell her they are expired. Then I tell her I have loads of homework to avoid a fatal amount of torture that is playing games with her roommates. Oh and the I had fun comment was the only way to keep from yelling "YOUR PSYCHO AND SOCIALLY INEPT."
So next time you try to set me up on a date. . . . don't.
